Frustrations:

Lately (okay so like the last three days) I've been feeling very frustrated. Not only with myself but with my children. I hate saying that, but I can safely say that all of us as mother's have have been there at one time or another. If you're saying that you haven't, then you're a big fat liar. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I wanted to just type out what I've been feeling lately and maybe I will get some feedback that will be helpful.

1. To go to school or to not go to school. This has been a question going through my head for about a month now. I'll be honest with you. I'm scared as hell to go back to school. I still have a semi-young child who needs me, I don't want to be gone all day long right now stuck in a class room, and with me suffering from depression/anxiety is it the "smart" thing to do right now or will it just make things worse? Then again, I need something to fall back on to in the event that Mitch got sick or died (ugh..the thought). So what do you do? Do you grin and bear it and do the best you can and possibly fail or do you wait until you're ready? The problem with "waiting until your ready" is that you could NEVER be ready.

I found this quote and I've read it a lot and I believe in it. I just need to have faith. But do I have faith that I will find a job that I can do without going to school or do I go to school? I don't know.

"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."

2. Anessa. Peyton. Cohen. Aja. I wish I could list them from greatest problems to least, but to be honest...they are all equal. I don't want to get to greatly into each of their problems; it's enough for me to say that all of them are giving me ulcers and I don't know what to do. It's not behavioral either..well except for Aja. Hers is behavioral. Cohen's is a mixture of behavioral and his disability.

3. I want a puppy. Badly. I've read that dogs can help a person with depression/anxiety. I don't think it would be a cure, but I do think it would ease a lot of the tension I feel on a daily basis. Mitch is against it. It bums me out. To the point of tears. The last time we had dogs I wasn't able to take care of them the way they needed. Reasoning behind it is because I was either pregnant or nursing all the time. Also, Mitch wouldn't let the dogs in the house and so I couldn't work with them like I wanted to. He says that it would just be adding another thing to my "stress list" and I can see where he is coming from, but I can see my point as well. Besides, how can you say no to this?


Anyway, those are the three biggest things that I'm dealing with right now. Any tips, advice, texts and emails are appreciated. Love to all!

Trip to Seattle Part Deux:

I think Mitch and I are addicted. We LOVE Washington. Love it. Seriously there is no better state, and the fact that we live so close to Seattle is a serious bonus. Also, the fact that we are in the same STATE as some of our closest friends again is another bonus. AND said friends just moved to Yakima! Sweet! We have the best friends here in Kennewick, the best ward, the most beautiful sites so close to us and there is just so much to do. I feel so blessed.

This year for Easter we decided to head up to Seattle and spend one more weekend in our friend Loren and Tamara's house before they are out of it for good. It was completely empty, but we just took along a bunch of blankets and sleeping bags and camped out. It was awesome. No computers or TV for 48 hours. The best. We left Kennewick at around 5:30 on Friday and didn't get into Seattle until midnight. Freaking traffic. Totally worth it though because the next day we got up and went to Skagit Valley and went to the TULIP FESTIVAL! Oh my gosh. Beautiful. And it was the most perfect day. It was in the high 50's low 60's and the sun was shining. Amazing. Here are a couple of pics I took. I took a couple hundred billion, but I will just share a few.

I actually shared an Easter message using these tulips. They were so beautiful.


Thank heavens for Benadryl. Aja was a dripping mess, but thankfully cleared up and so she was able to do plenty of sniffing!


So beautiful!


Yeah, that would be a girl who is officially taller than me.


Only two dudes who are totally comfortable with each other could do this.


Peek-A-Boo!


I loved all the pinks and reds. It was just breath taking!


EASTER!! All the kids waiting. Aja and her wonderful habit of picking her lips...Just like her mom. Sigh.


Nothing better than doing an Easter Egg Hunt in a completely empty house!


I love this little squat!


After a breakfast of candy and Subway (HAHA!) we got ready, cleaned up any evidence that we were at the house and headed to Pike Place Market (yes, again) but first. A picture of the fam showing the view that the Parker's got to enjoy every day.


Pike Place is cool. We saw this boat being dragged along by a teeny tiny tug boat. Crazy!


There were a couple of these silver men holding lights around the square. I'm not sure the story behind them, but they are way cool. Most of the shops were closed so we didn't spend too much time. Also, we were way tired and anxious to get home so we got some t-shirts and stuff to munch on and of course made plans to come back!

Autism:

Dear Autism:

Tonight I really hate you.

Sincerely,

A Mother who is at the end of her rope

A Trip To The Coast:

This last weekend we had the AWESOME opportunity to head up Washington State's amazing and beautiful coastline and visit a few places. It was a complete last minute decision and I'm so glad that we did this. The kids had so much fun and experienced so many new and beautiful things. They didn't complain ONCE about the drive (of course there were the potty break whines). I was so proud of them!

So, I've never used a map to get...anywhere. Honest. Mitch made me the map person. I insisted on being the driver, he said "No". So here is a picture from our 44 mile "out of the way scenic drive" of a cute little chalet up near the pass that was...closed. I'm happy to say that I'm a PRO map reader now!


There were SO MANY waterfalls to see and they were just on the side of the road! It was amazing!


The first place we stayed was called Ocean Shores. Since it was off season (meaning freezing cold and raining) we were able to get a room with a view of the ocean! It was beautiful. We got to eat at a really good restaurant. I'm still dreaming of the shrimp and crab melt (minus cheese so not technically a melt but it was GOOD!) that I had. YUM! We went to a couple of the beaches. The first one was blowing sand all over the place so I just snapped a few pictures and ran back to the car with Aja and Anessa (yes, we are chicken's). The next part of the beach was protected from the rain and wind a bit so we spent some time there. It was fun! And WINDY!




After leaving Ocean Shores we found this neat little town. WARNING: Adults Only! HAHA! Seriously. I'm sure there was another name on the ballot. What happened?!


Here we hit up another beach. It was beautiful. It was made up entirely of little rocks that were perfectly round. Loved it!


Yes, my husband and kids were freezing. We didn't plan very well with the packing, but we had fun! Just froze and wore the same thing..over and over. HAHA!


Mitch was in awe over the trees. I have to admit. It was beautiful and it smelled amazing! He was totally at home. I think one day he's going to buy a cabin around there!


A bad case of hemorrhoids or some knots that fell off a tree? You decide.


Yep. We went to Forks. Forks wasn't much to look at, but La Push was absolutely beautiful!




We then went to Port Angeles and spent the night. We didn't spend any time there but we did take this semi cute family picture. If only they would all look at the same time *sigh*


It's FERRY TIME! My kids were SO EXCITED about riding the ferry. I kid you not. They were bouncing in their seats. Our ferry's name was PullYaUp. Cute. It was a lot of fun for everyone..but me. I got seasick once it started moving. I didn't recover until we hit Seattle. Mitch and I are both afraid of heights and deep water. Not a good combo when you have kids that are daredevils. We quickly took our pics and then ran back into the boat.


SEATTLE! Oh my gosh! LOVE Seattle! It's AMAZING! Our friend Loren and his wife Tamara graciously housed our crazy family of 6 and Loren took us around to see the sites. We got to see a fountain that I of course forget the name of and...


We then went to the Seattle Aquarium and got to pet a whole buncha stuff! It was slimy. The kids loved it..all but Aja who is still afraid to touch anything. We got to feed sea urchins, pet starfish, see an octopus and pet a sea cucumber! Fun!



After the Aquarium we hit up Pike Place Market. Did we get any pictures there? NO!!! How lame is that!! I just have to say that Pike Place Market is so COOL!! I could seriously spend all day (and all my money) there. So many neat things to see..A man dressed completely in silver. All types of musicians. Beautiful flowers that you can buy for CHEAP! Amazing. Anyway, we obviously had a good time, can you tell? I gained 6 pounds but promptly dropped it 2 days after getting home *phew* but it was totally worth it!